Why should i feel sad for what i never had? Nothing equals nothing.

Every night, I drive until I am the horizon.
I try to get lost. I try to lose myself.
The open road like an open book tells me its secrets as i hurtle into oblivion.
But I always manage to end up where I began.
Each night, I try harder not to come back. I'm getting better at it, getting further and further into the dark before I turn around.
I'm terrified that some night, I'll succeed. Some night, I'll find a new place to simultaneously love and hate. To always feel as if there's somewhere else I'm supposed to be.
One night, I'm going to vanish.
It's silly to be terrified of such a wonderful prospect.